Derek remembers his wife, Tamara, as a woman whose brilliance was matched only by her devotion to her daughter. “Taylor was the center of her universe,” he shares. “Tamara was intellectually fearless… tackling the most complex problems she could find,” including groundbreaking work at OHSU on technologies that help older adults live independently. She was a cherished partner, a mentor, and the person who shaped the thoughtful, curious daughter they raised together.
“She left her mark on this planet in many ways,” Derek said, through her work, her students, and most of all, through Taylor.
Taylor was just 14 when Tamara died. Derek and Taylor suddenly found themselves navigating grief without anyone who truly understood the magnitude of what they were experiencing. “We each felt so alone through the illness, struggling to cope, and without any peer group of families going through the same thing,” Derek recalled.
A social worker at Providence St. Vincent ICU suggested Dougy Center. “After we got to Dougy Center, we were not alone in navigating our grief,” Derek said. “We had somewhere to share our deepest thoughts with people who ‘got it.’”
For Taylor, the impact was immediate. “Going to Dougy Center normalized her tragic experience,” Derek shared, “She was not alone in what she had experienced, was feeling, and how she was trying to cope.” Her favorite part was the conversations — “talking, comparing notes with other teens, feeling heard and not quite so alone.”
For Derek, the gift was the program itself. “The completely welcoming environment, the depth of care from every single staff member and volunteer,” he said. “People showing up for each other, in the hardest of times.” As a grieving spouse navigating life as a single dad, he found a space where compassion felt constant and genuine.
Years later, Derek reflects on what a Dougy Center closer to home would have meant. Living in Beaverton, he remembers the challenge of traveling across the city every two weeks. “Having a permanent site on the Westside would open the opportunity to serve so many families who just can’t make the logistics work today. I really hope this long-held dream can become a reality for other families very soon,” he said.
