By Monique R. Mitchell
Whether due to a death or to non-death losses, most youth in foster care are grieving. We know that grief is a natural and normal response to loss, and how we support youth in foster care when they’ve suffered multiple losses can be life-changing. While the majority of child welfare professionals are trauma-informed, most are not grief-informed. Being grief-informed is critical to understanding best practices to youth who are grieving (Mitchell & Schuurman, 2025).
In 2020, Dougy Center: The National Grief Center for Children & Families launched the international #UnderstandGrief campaign to challenge the dominating discourse, evidenced through the addition of “Prolonged Grief Disorder” in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), that some experiences of grief need to be “treated” or “pathologized.” The field of traumatology (the study of the short- and long-term impacts of trauma) made an important shift in understanding and responding to trauma by asking the question, “What happened to you?” rather than “What is wrong with you?” Unfortunately, the field of thanatology (the study of death, dying, and bereavement) has not made that shift, and normal responses to grief, such as yearning and longing for the people we miss, are being diagnosed as mental disorders.
Instead, grief is an experience that needs and deserves understanding, support, and community. In honor of National Foster Care Month, in May 2025, Dougy Center launched the #GetGrief-Informed campaign, a grief campaign to support youth in foster care who are grieving and the child welfare professionals who serve them. The #GetGrief-Informed campaign includes free, downloadable resources that are based on the core principles of grief-informed practices and the lived experience of youth in foster care.
The five resources highlighted in the campaign are:
- Get Grief-Informed: Loss, Grief, & Youth in Foster Care:
This article applies the ten core principles of grief within a foster care context and discusses best practices for supporting youth in foster care who are grieving. See https://www.dougy.org/assets/uploads/Get-Grief-Informed_Loss-Grief-and-Youth-in-Foster-Care.pdf. - The Bill of Rights for Youth in Foster Care Who are Grieving: Based on lived experience, this document highlights the rights of youth in foster care who are grieving. See https://www.dougy.org/assets/uploads/Bill-of-Rights-for-Teens-whoare-grieving_LYGHT.pdf.
- Tips for Supporting Youth in Foster Care Who are Grieving: This resource provides child welfare professionals with 12 tips to consider when supporting youth in foster care who have been separated from people, places, and things of importance to them. See https://www.dougy.org/assets/uploads/Tips-for-Supporting-Youth-In-Foster-Care-Who-are-Grieving.pdf.
- When a Youth in Foster Care is Grieving: What to Say Instead:
No matter how familiar you are with grief, it can still be hard to know what to say when a loss occurs. This document provides common statements that miss the mark and suggestions for what to say instead. See https://www.dougy.org/assets/uploads/When-a-Youth-in-Foster-Care-is-Grieving_What-to-Say-Instead.pdf. - Words Matter: Hurtful and Helpful Language:
The language we use to talk about youth in foster care shapes the way we perceive and support them. This Tip Sheet highlights hurtful and helpful language about and with youth in foster care. See https://www.dougy.org/assets/uploads/Words-Matter_Hurtful-and-Helpful-Language-About-and-With-Youth-in-Foster-Care.pdf.
For a complete list of resources, please visit http://www.dougy.org/getgrief-informed.
All youth in foster care deserve to be understood and have their grief addressed. Through programs like Listening & Led by Youth in Foster Care: Grief, Hope, & Transitions (L.Y.G.H.T.), an evidence-based peer grief support program for teens and young adults in foster care (Mitchell et al., 2022), and support from grief-informed therapists, child welfare professionals, and practitioners, youth in foster care can be surrounded by peers, adults, and a community where their grief is recognized and addressed. By understanding and implementing trauma-informed and grief-informed best practices, child welfare professionals can tap into one of the most valuable resources and protective factors that exists for youth in foster care who are grieving: human connection.
Monique B. Mitchell, PhD, FT, is the Chief Innovation Officer at Dougy Center: The National Grief Center for Children & Families and serves as the National Director for the L.Y.G.H.T. program. She is a nationally recognized authority on children, teens, and families who are grieving in foster care, and the author of The Neglected Transition: Building a Relational Home for Children Entering Foster Care (Oxford University Press, 2016) and Living in an Inspired World: Voices and Visions of Youth in Foster Care (CWLA Press, 2017), among other publications. She has more than 20 years of experience conducting youth-centered translational research on the lived experience of youth in foster care and developing youth-centered curricula to serve youth who are grieving.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Publishing.
Mitchell, M. B. & Schuurman, D. L. (2025). Get Grief-Informed: Loss, Grief, & Youth in Foster Care. Dougy Center: The National Grief Center for Children & Families.
Mitchell, M. B., Schuurman, D. L., Shapiro, C. J., Sattler, S., Sorensen, C., & Martinez, J. (2022). The L.Y.G.H.T. program: An evaluation of a peer grief support intervention for youth in foster care. Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10560-022-00843-7
