Meet Adriane, Abe, and Sol
Adriane’s husband Sam was a Portland native who cared passionately about his hometown, helping his community, and celebrating life with his family and friends, and especially his boys. Sam was a successful tech entrepreneur, civic leader, ultimate frisbee fanatic and blueberry connoisseur who could often be found riding around town on his beloved green bike.
After Sam died of cardiac arrest at the age of 41, Adriane was eager to find support for her two sons. “As an elementary school teacher, I was aware of various resources for children and families that I could share with my students, Dougy Center being one. I never imagined I would ever need the services myself, however. The day I took my boys to the center, just a couple of weeks after Sam died, I simultaneously felt anguish about having to be there, and deep gratitude for its existence. It was surreal,” Adriane shared.
Abe and Sol (ages 10 and 9 at the time of their father’s death nearly nine years ago) appreciated the unspoken understanding they found at Dougy Center. It was a place where they could be around other kids who had experienced a similar loss. Peer grief support groups at Dougy Center are organized by age and by the type of death their person experienced, while also recognizing that each loss is unique. Adriane reflected, “Sharing space with other kids who had endured a similar circumstance was incredibly grounding and reassuring for my boys. They did not feel like they were the only ones. They did not feel alone. It was a space where you could share and talk if you wanted or listen and process quietly. Healing can be found in all of it.”
As an educator, Adriane deeply valued the thoughtful programming available at Dougy Center. While her boys enjoyed playing basketball and letting their big energy out in the Volcano Room, Adriane was able to attend a group held at the same time for caregivers, which was very impactful for her healing. As time went on, Adriane became a guide for others who were just beginning their journey at Dougy Center, and Abe and Sol eventually summoned the courage to visit the hospital room, which took a tremendous amount of courage being that their father died in the ICU at the hospital. “Dougy Center was a place we could go and be completely ourselves in our grief. We didn’t have to explain ourselves. Each week when we arrived for group it was like taking a deep breath,” Adriane said.
As Dougy Center finalizes renovations on a new, permanent location in Beaverton, families on the Westside like Adriane’s will have greater access to these life-changing services during the worst moments of their lives. Adriane is thrilled about Dougy Center’s growth. “Though I wish a place like the Dougy Center didn’t have to exist, I’m so grateful it does, and knowing there will be more capacity to reach more families in need makes me incredibly happy. The expansion will facilitate more healing which I truly believe has an infinite power to help not only the families who it directly impacts, but our greater community and society. Unresolved grief damages all of us. No one is meant to do this work of life and death alone. Helpers are here.”
