Father’s Day is right around the corner, but the day might look a little different for children grieving the death of a dad. It is important that caregivers, survivors, and those who work in the field supporting grieving youth do what they can to help these children find comfort in the day and know they are not alone in their grief journey.
While many families are having backyard barbecues or are swimming and celebrating with their fathers, children grieving the loss of a father might need to approach Father’s Day a little differently. Some might just want to stay home and watch a movie or hang out in their room and play with toys. Others might be okay to hang out with other family members, or maybe they want to leave the house altogether. Each grieving child will have different needs for the day.
Father’s Day can feel especially tender for children who are grieving their dad because the world seems to be celebrating something they are deeply missing. What matters most is helping children know there is no right or wrong way to miss someone they love. Some kids may want to talk about their dad, visit a meaningful place, or keep a tradition alive. Others may want quiet or distraction. Supporting grieving children starts with reminding them they do not have to carry their grief alone, and that however they remember their dad is enough. Supporting grieving children means giving them permission to remember, to feel joy and sadness at the same time, to continue traditions or create new ones, or even to do nothing at all. There is no wrong way to love someone who died. Father’s Day is not just one hard day — often the anticipation is the hardest part. For grieving children, support can look like simply making space for whatever they are feeling without pressure to celebrate or pretend they are okay. Sometimes the most meaningful thing we can say is, “I’m here with you, and we can remember your dad in whatever way feels right to you today." —Brennan Wood, Executive Director, Dougy Center: The National Grief Center for Children & Families
Each grieving child will want to celebrate Father’s Day (or not) in the way that comforts them the most. We as supporters of grieving children need to let them lead, and then follow their lead, to help give them the support that is right for them on Father’s Day, and every day after.
