The Longevity Of Grief

In this episode, Camila returns to Grief Out Loud six years after her first appearance to share how grief continues to evolve. What began with the sudden loss of her mother at age 21 has now expanded to include the ongoing grief of caregiving for her father, who is living with dementia and Alzheimer's disease.

Camila discusses the unique challenges of long-distance caregiving, the differences between sudden loss and gradual decline, and how these two types of grief intersect in her life. She also discusses navigating major life milestones—including getting married during the pandemic—without her mother's presence.

We Discuss:

• The difference between sudden loss and the "slow grief" of watching a parent decline
• How grief has shifted in the 15+ years since her mother's unexpected death
• Losing her father as the co-archivist of her mother's life and their family history
• Managing long-distance caregiving
• The failures of the elder care system in the U.S.
• The role of chosen family and support
• Wedding planning and the question of how to honor her mother's memory
• The complexity of being a queer person in traditionally heteronormative grief support spaces
• Feeling like she no longer has parents, even though her father is still alive
• The therapeutic value of pets
• Finding moments of connection and joy with her father despite his condition
• Using poetry as a processing tool for grief

About the Guest:

Camila is a poet who has published three books of poetry:

• The Progression of Grief (about losing her mother)

• New Waters (about falling in love and healthy relationships)

• The Longevity of Grief (about caring for her father and how different types of grief intersect)

This episode is the third in our 2025 three-part series highlighting the voices of communities who have historically been underrepresented in the grief world. The series is part of an ongoing collaboration between Dougy Center and The New York Life Foundation. We are deeply grateful for New York Life Foundation's tireless support and advocacy for children and teens who are grieving.

Grief Out Loud is a production of Dougy Center, the National Grief Center for Children and Families in Portland, Oregon.