Now I’m An Adult Orphan: Tyler Feder On Dancing At The Pity Party, Again

Sep 16th, 2025 | Episode 331

When Tyler Feder was 19, her mom died of cancer, an experience she captured years later in her bestselling graphic memoir Dancing at the Pity Party. In the years since, Tyler has described herself as a “dead mom person” - reflecting just how much of her life was shaped by the death of her mother. But this past winter, Tyler’s dad also died, adding a new aspect to her identity, this time as an adult orphan.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • The contrast between her parents’ personalities – mom (quiet, creative, cat-like), dad (gregarious, emotional, dog-like) - and which of those aspects Tyler carries forward in hers.
  • How writing, art, and community help her process grief.
  • One of Tyler's favorite questions about her parents.
  • Why tangible keepsakes matter so much.
  • The difference having a parent die when you’re still a teenager vs an adult.
  • How her family approached her father’s illness and death compared to her mom’s.
  • Living with worry and fear about her own health and mortality.

Follow Tyler’s work on Instagram @tylerfeder.

Copy of Ep 331 GOL 1

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