Going To College With Grief - Loss In Young Adulthood

Nov 25th, 2025 | Episode 337

When Hilary was 18, her oldest sister, Kelly, died from a rare cancer called DSRCT (desmoplastic small round cell tumor). In the same year, Hilary left for college and her parents divorced - three life-altering events that reshaped her relationships, sense of stability, and the early years of adulthood.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • Growing up as the youngest of three sisters and the creative, nurturing bond she shared with Kelly
  • Navigating Kelly's diagnosis, treatment, and death while still in high school
  • Trying to appear "fine" in college while carrying immense grief
  • The ways her family dynamics shifted after Kelly's death and her parents' divorce
  • How grief continued to evolve across developmental stages, from early adulthood into her mid-30s
  • The unexpected moments - like baking bread or bringing home a new pet – that bring new waves of grief
  • How her experience shaped her work as a therapist supporting others in pain

Hilary also shares what she wishes she had known about grief at 18, how exhausting it can be, and how she learned to make space for grief that shows up differently over time.

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